Sunday, November 2, 2008

Overcoming a fear

So today while at church I had to overcome a HUGE fear of mine, I had to say the closing prayer! I am terrified to get up in front of people and speak- When I received a call last week from the Stake Center I felt that I could not turn down the request so I said "yes sure I would be more than happy to do that", but deep down I was terrified I wanted to hang up the phone and pretend the conversation never took place - So when I arrived at church this afternoon I instantly started to cry because I saw how many people were really there and the fear just overwhelmed me - Sierra, my daughter was so sweet, she just kept telling me "Mom it will be fine, no worries you have so many friends here to support you and plus Bigelow and Regnier are here so all is good" - We sat down towards the back of the church, as we waited for services to begin the other missionaries started sitting by us so I began to feel more at ease, that is until every 15 minutes they would tell me how much time I had left - While President Maxwell was giving a talk Elder Bigelow passed me a note with scriptures to look up, so I used his scriptures and began to read what he had suggested and I felt such a sense of peace come over me - He then told me I would be fine and not to worry about anything because if I listen to the spirit and not focus on my fear then everything will be perfect- So I asked Elder Regnier to walk with me in the halls towards the front of the chapel and while walking I just kept wondering what I was going to say because the minute I left Bigelow my sense of peace vanished, he has become kind of like my security blanket the past few months, always there for me even when I didn't think I needed him- anyway so I as Regnier and I were walking he kept telling me not to worry - so when we got to the door that led to the front of the chapel the choir was still singing so we continued to talk and he just kept reassuring me that all would be fine, the choir stopped and I froze, I couldn't move, he held the door open for me and I saw President Maxwell and he gave me a nod and wink so I walked in, didn't look at anyone in the congregation looked down, closed my eyes and said the prayer, I couldn't tell you what I said because I can't remember it but from what everyone said after church it was perfect- All I can say is that I hope they never ask me to do that again! Sierra said after I gave the prayer Bigelow smiled and said perfect- 

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