The other day something was brought to my attention that I never really thought about. I had my daughter when I was 20. It was my choice to start my family when I was young. I never thought that I missed out on my life because of it. I just felt that this was the choice I made, this is what I wanted and I didn't regret it. I am glad that I had my daughter when I was young. We are close, we are best friends, we talk about anything and everything. When she was first born she slept in my bed with me, I couldn't sleep with her in another room. I had to hear her breathing. It gave me such peace to hear that and to touch her. Everyone thought it was a bad idea for her to sleep with us in the same bed but I disagreed. I am glad I had her sleep with me the first 6 months the foundation for our relationship was formed. When my son was born I had him sleep in the same room with me for the first few weeks but something was off, I didn't feel the bond with him, I felt like he was not mine, no closeness so I tried having him sleep in bed with me and after the first night we both slept better, I started feeling the bond that a mother should have with her child.  My husband hated having the children in the same bed with us, he didn't sleep well at all, always thinking something would happen to them but I on the other hand slept great and so did they. Hunter starting sleeping through the night at 3 weeks, Sierra at a month.  I know that this may not work for everyone but as a parent you learn to do what works for you and your children. My daughter is now 16 and my son is 5. My daughter and I still have "camp outs" in the living room we stay up late watch movies share popcorn and catch up and I sometimes sleep with my son when he asks.  I wouldn't trade anything for the one on one time I have had with my children. I would never trade staying at home for working outside the home. I am lucky enough that I am able to stay home. I don't judge those who work outside the home we all do what is best for us, we do what works for us. I know my husband could never stay home with the kids, he needs the challenge of working outside the home. I am thankful for my children and have zero regrets..

Camping

In two weeks we will be heading to the mountains of North Carolina to do some camping. I am so looking forward to time away from the "city life" and just relaxing for a week. I can't wait to go rafting down the river and to take the kayak out again. Do a little hiking as well and just hang out with my family. Sierra will be home and I can't wait to catch up with her after being away from her for almost 8 weeks.  I am looking forward to the campfires, smores, playing games at night and just being in the moment with my family. We are turning off the cell phones while we are there so work can't get in touch with John.. I am counting the days...

Duh!

Two weeks ago I did something so completely stupid! I ran over my leg with my own truck and it crashed into a house. I know lame right.. Well I was out delivering Produce Boxes to members and I thought I put the truck in park, guess what I didn't. I was reaching into the back of the truck to get a box and I noticed the truck start to move.. Well I being the intelligent person that I am thought I could just jump in and put the brake on and all would be fine. WRONG!! I lost my balance while attempting to get in and that is when the back tires of the truck ran over my leg and then proceeded to crash into the garage. Yeah I know pretty lame. I was lucky though I didn't break anything in my leg or foot but I did manage to get some pretty bruises and cuts on the leg and foot. I lost feeling in my toes and have started to get most of the feeling back in them . My doctor said I should regain all feeling once the swelling is completely gone and in 4-6 weeks I should be good as new. All I can say right now is that my foot is killing me. I have taken the pain medication (anyone who knows me knows I don't take anything for pain, not even for a headache) and I am still hurting.. I just wish the pain would stop already. I wish I wasn't such an idiot or in such a hurry to get things done that day... I am thankful though that Hunter wasn't in the truck when it happened.

Sweet 16

Yes my daughter has turned 16! I can't believe how the time has flown by. She is an amazing young woman who I admire. I remember when we brought her home from the hospital and didn't know what the heck to do and wanting to do nothing but hold her in my arms and protect her from the world. I remember when she was learning to walk how she would smile when taking those first steps, or reading bedtime stories to her. I remember all of it like it was yesterday. She is now driving, dating, and preparing for life when she moves out. She is thinking about colleges and what she wants to do when she graduates. She is thinking about world issues and how she will be able to make a difference. I don't know when it happened but my little girl has grown up. It makes me happy yet sad at the same time. I look at her and think where did my baby go and realize that time doesn't stand still and that we should all take time and be in the moment with our children because they don't stay little forever they grow up and turn into amazing young adults and make us proud.. Oh how I love my sweet Sierra Nicole...

Have you ever?

Have you ever missed someplace so much you ached? That is me this week. I miss the Netherlands. I miss the people, I miss the architecture, I miss the food, I miss EVERYTHING about it. I can't wait to go back in the spring next year although I am thinking 2 weeks just won't be enough and I may have to extend that trip. I want to live there, I want to say goodbye to the States and live where I was the most happiest. I felt so at home there and I really did not want to leave last year. You know that saying "I left my heart in San Francisco"? Well I left mine in Amsterdam...