Self Image

I hate the way I look. I hate that I workout 3-4 times a week and am still fat. I hate that I had cancer and because of said cancer I do not have a Thyroid and therefor I do not have a metabolism. I hate that I use to be skinny and could wear anything I wanted. I hate that I can no longer find cute clothes. I hate that I hate myself and that I can not accept my body the way it is. I hate that I long to be skinny again. I hate that I miss out on life because I don't want to be seen because I am fat. I hate my picture taken so I do not have many photos of the kids and I. I hate that I put value on my weight and not the person that I am.

Friendships

This past year I decided to rid myself of people who did not influence my life in a positive way. I said goodbye to a friend I have had since my freshman year in high school because I just couldn't handle the constant gossip about the people back home. I didn't care who was cheating on who or with who. I didn't care that so and so was arrested for a DUI, drugs or that so and so is still living in the same town.  I then learned that she cheated many times on her husband and three times with her best friends brother. That is pretty much when I said goodbye, you have nothing to bring to this friendship that is meaningful.  I thought it would be hard to end the friendship but really it was one of the easiest things I have ever done.  I feel good about it actually.

I want friends who I can learn from, have meaningful conversations, who I can talk to about anything and know that it isn't going to turn into gossip. I want friends who want to give back to there community and have values and who support their spouses when times get tough, I want strong women who stand up for what they believe in. I want friends who set amazing examples for their children. I want friends who teach their children that if they want something in life then they have to work hard for it.

I feel I have that now.

Allergies

After over 30 pricks in the back we learned that my son, Hunter is allergic to nuts, trees, 8 types of grass, dust mites, mold, and cats. I will say that I am glad his doctor didn't say he was allergic to dogs because we would not be a happy family if we had to get rid of our Samsun.  Hunter has an Epipen that goes with us everywhere. He is to sit at a special table at lunch time (away from his friends, I think that is just sad) he sits alone at snack time just in case other kids bring in nuts for a snack. He is allergic to peanuts, brazil nuts, cashews,almonds, pistachios (those can kill him if he eats them) and peacans, those will just make him uncomfortable according to the doctor.  My house is now a nut free zone. No peanutbutter, no pistachios (my favorite snack of all time) nothing. I must read every lable when I go to the market to make sure nothing he eats will have those nuts in it.  

some changes in the house

New Camera

Last weekend I was able to go by my new camera. I have taken my time researching different cameras and I found the one I love. I purchased the Nikon D5000 and was able to get two extra lenses, 3 filters, camera bag, 20 lessons and free prints for a year for less than $1,000..   I have taken a few photos with it so far and am totally in love with it. I am glad I took my time doing research so I could get just the right one for me. It was a toss up between the Nikon D90 or the one I purchased. I felt the D90 was just too much for me, I didn't think I would really need everything it had to offer since I am just starting out. Once I become more familiar with my camera I will be doing a photo blog or something along those lines..