some changes in the house

New Camera

Last weekend I was able to go by my new camera. I have taken my time researching different cameras and I found the one I love. I purchased the Nikon D5000 and was able to get two extra lenses, 3 filters, camera bag, 20 lessons and free prints for a year for less than $1,000..   I have taken a few photos with it so far and am totally in love with it. I am glad I took my time doing research so I could get just the right one for me. It was a toss up between the Nikon D90 or the one I purchased. I felt the D90 was just too much for me, I didn't think I would really need everything it had to offer since I am just starting out. Once I become more familiar with my camera I will be doing a photo blog or something along those lines..

Things I am Thankful For

Here are just a few of the things I am thankful for.....

• My Husband ~who shows me everyday how much he loves me
• My Beautiful Daughter ~ who has a heart of gold
• My Handsome Son ~ who makes me laugh everyday
• My Parents ~ For everything they have taught me, I miss them terribly.
• My Brother ~ For being the best big brother a sister could ask for, who is always there when I need him
• Fabulous Friends ~ For being such amazing examples in life, you are strong women who I admire and love
• A House to call Home
• To be able to attend church
• Heavenly Father
• Jesus
• The Holy Ghost

The other day something was brought to my attention that I never really thought about. I had my daughter when I was 20. It was my choice to start my family when I was young. I never thought that I missed out on my life because of it. I just felt that this was the choice I made, this is what I wanted and I didn't regret it. I am glad that I had my daughter when I was young. We are close, we are best friends, we talk about anything and everything. When she was first born she slept in my bed with me, I couldn't sleep with her in another room. I had to hear her breathing. It gave me such peace to hear that and to touch her. Everyone thought it was a bad idea for her to sleep with us in the same bed but I disagreed. I am glad I had her sleep with me the first 6 months the foundation for our relationship was formed. When my son was born I had him sleep in the same room with me for the first few weeks but something was off, I didn't feel the bond with him, I felt like he was not mine, no closeness so I tried having him sleep in bed with me and after the first night we both slept better, I started feeling the bond that a mother should have with her child.  My husband hated having the children in the same bed with us, he didn't sleep well at all, always thinking something would happen to them but I on the other hand slept great and so did they. Hunter starting sleeping through the night at 3 weeks, Sierra at a month.  I know that this may not work for everyone but as a parent you learn to do what works for you and your children. My daughter is now 16 and my son is 5. My daughter and I still have "camp outs" in the living room we stay up late watch movies share popcorn and catch up and I sometimes sleep with my son when he asks.  I wouldn't trade anything for the one on one time I have had with my children. I would never trade staying at home for working outside the home. I am lucky enough that I am able to stay home. I don't judge those who work outside the home we all do what is best for us, we do what works for us. I know my husband could never stay home with the kids, he needs the challenge of working outside the home. I am thankful for my children and have zero regrets..

Camping

In two weeks we will be heading to the mountains of North Carolina to do some camping. I am so looking forward to time away from the "city life" and just relaxing for a week. I can't wait to go rafting down the river and to take the kayak out again. Do a little hiking as well and just hang out with my family. Sierra will be home and I can't wait to catch up with her after being away from her for almost 8 weeks.  I am looking forward to the campfires, smores, playing games at night and just being in the moment with my family. We are turning off the cell phones while we are there so work can't get in touch with John.. I am counting the days...

Duh!

Two weeks ago I did something so completely stupid! I ran over my leg with my own truck and it crashed into a house. I know lame right.. Well I was out delivering Produce Boxes to members and I thought I put the truck in park, guess what I didn't. I was reaching into the back of the truck to get a box and I noticed the truck start to move.. Well I being the intelligent person that I am thought I could just jump in and put the brake on and all would be fine. WRONG!! I lost my balance while attempting to get in and that is when the back tires of the truck ran over my leg and then proceeded to crash into the garage. Yeah I know pretty lame. I was lucky though I didn't break anything in my leg or foot but I did manage to get some pretty bruises and cuts on the leg and foot. I lost feeling in my toes and have started to get most of the feeling back in them . My doctor said I should regain all feeling once the swelling is completely gone and in 4-6 weeks I should be good as new. All I can say right now is that my foot is killing me. I have taken the pain medication (anyone who knows me knows I don't take anything for pain, not even for a headache) and I am still hurting.. I just wish the pain would stop already. I wish I wasn't such an idiot or in such a hurry to get things done that day... I am thankful though that Hunter wasn't in the truck when it happened.

Sweet 16

Yes my daughter has turned 16! I can't believe how the time has flown by. She is an amazing young woman who I admire. I remember when we brought her home from the hospital and didn't know what the heck to do and wanting to do nothing but hold her in my arms and protect her from the world. I remember when she was learning to walk how she would smile when taking those first steps, or reading bedtime stories to her. I remember all of it like it was yesterday. She is now driving, dating, and preparing for life when she moves out. She is thinking about colleges and what she wants to do when she graduates. She is thinking about world issues and how she will be able to make a difference. I don't know when it happened but my little girl has grown up. It makes me happy yet sad at the same time. I look at her and think where did my baby go and realize that time doesn't stand still and that we should all take time and be in the moment with our children because they don't stay little forever they grow up and turn into amazing young adults and make us proud.. Oh how I love my sweet Sierra Nicole...

Have you ever?

Have you ever missed someplace so much you ached? That is me this week. I miss the Netherlands. I miss the people, I miss the architecture, I miss the food, I miss EVERYTHING about it. I can't wait to go back in the spring next year although I am thinking 2 weeks just won't be enough and I may have to extend that trip. I want to live there, I want to say goodbye to the States and live where I was the most happiest. I felt so at home there and I really did not want to leave last year. You know that saying "I left my heart in San Francisco"? Well I left mine in Amsterdam...

Guido and Giuseppe

Since the passing of Zoltan two weeks ago Hunter has asked if he can get a fish tank. Well this past weekend we did just that. We have started out with two guppies and he has named them Guido and Giuseppe, I have no idea where he came up with the names but I must admit I love those little fish. Yes I said love them. I am not a fish fan but these little guys are so cool. I love their little fins and they are amazingly fast. We will be adding more fish to the tank in a few weeks once it has gone through the new tank cycle and is safe to allow more fish to the tank. Hunter loves his fish as well, it is cute to listen to his giggle as he watches them swim around and around. I didn't think that fish could bring such happiness to a little boy.

The passing of Zoltan

Zoltan was Hunters very first pet, his very own that he didn't have to share with the rest of the family. He was a cute little black dwarf hamster. Hunter fed him, made sure he had plenty of water and helped to clean his cage each week. We adopted Zoltan, he was with a foster family and we decided that at the age of 3 Hunter was old enough to care for the little guy. For the past few weeks Zoltan hasn't really been himself. He hasn't wanted to run on his wheel or play in his ball and that has made Hunter a little sad to say the least, last night Hunter asked John if he could hold Zoltan but John said no, because he was sleeping still. Hunter begged and begged to hold the little guy but the answer was still no. Well this morning John woke me before he left for work and told me the little guy died. I had the great job of telling Hunter the sad news when he woke up. Let me just tell you I NEVER want to see that sad look on my sons face again. He was devastated, crushed. He asked me several times if we could take it to the pet doctor so they could make him better, then he realized that if his hamster died then that means our family dog Samsun is going to die and he sobbed, Samsun is his best friend in the whole wide world and is a year younger than Hunter but now Hunter is freaked that Samsun is going to die soon. I told him that Samsun is healthy and young so he would have a long happy life and not to worry about Samsun passing anytime soon and to enjoy playing with him everyday. My heart is breaking for my son today. I know it was just a hamster but it was Hunters little buddy. RIP Zoltan...

Hunters first baseball game

I took Hunter to his first baseball game this past Saturday. We were in DC so I thought it was a good time to take him to a ball game. After a morning of museums and touring the Capital Building we hopped on the metro at 7th street and got off at the Navy Yard. The ball park is a half a block from the metro so it was great. He was excited to see the park, well maybe he was just excited to get that ballpark hot dog and coke. He was so cute, he ordered all by himself and even used his manners which is more than I can say for the majority of the people there, anyway that is another story. After we got his hot dog and coke we found our seats and watched batting practice. If I didn't know any better I would have thought we were at Fenway, I didn't see anybody wearing Nationals hats or shirts. Everywhere I looked I saw Boston Red Sox hats, shirts, sock, fingers, you name it I saw it. As we were sitting there eating Hunter asked me questions about the game, like what happens if the ball is hit on this side of the yellow pole, I told him it was a foul ball, he asked about doubles, triples and how does the guy behind the catcher know if it is a ball or a strike? I was in heaven answering his questions, it was a dream come true after 6 years. From the day I found out I was having a boy I dreamed of taking him to his first major league game and this weekend that dream was fulfilled. The stadium is great, the location is great, the weather was perfect and life was perfect for a few hours. I will never forget my sons first game. Our next game will be August 23, 2010 a few days before he starts school, we are going back to DC to watch the Nationals play the Cubbies and enjoy another hot dog and coke and create more memories of a lifetime. The Red Sox won the game but it didn't matter to us....

January 2013

It can't get here soon enough. Here are a few things Obama has done since being in office.

• Returned the Churchill bust
• Gave the Queen an iPod with all of his own speeches
• Insulted Czechoslovakia and Poland
• Insulted and threatened Israel
• Delivered an anti-Israel speech at the UN
• Announced his decision to close GTMO in a year without a game plan as to what to do with the inmates
• Tripled the deficit and has China worried about whether we are a good investment
• Allowed his Attorney General to selectively prosecute racially charged cases
• Embraced dictators and bowed to Saudi Arabia's King
• Aided in a coup against Honduras' legitimate government after they legally ousted Zelaya
• Unilaterally broke a missile defense agreement with no warning, on the anniversary of the Russian invasion
• He has broken so many campaign promises, especially ones related to transparency and lobbyists

I hope those of you who voted for him have removed those rose colored glasses... I don't care what you say you will NEVER convince me this man was a good choice for America.

The fun begins

I have decided that I am going to do a few half marathons and a full marathon later this year so that means I need to start training for them. I think I will start another blog once I start the training, it will contain what food I eat, how many miles I run, what gear I use etc. This year will be my best year yet. I have never felt so good or excited...

Life

Since my husband I went to Amsterdam in December I have been on a mission so to speak. I am taking my life back. I am doing things I want to do. I am making a list and crossing things off as I go. When I was in Amsterdam I decided that I was going to get back into the game of life again and I am. I have made a two year goal. I want to accomplish certain things in that time period and I know that since I have a game plan I will do just that. I will sell the house I live in right now and get one that I like, one that I can make a home for me and my family. I will buy my camera and take some classes so I can learn to take amazing photos and fill that home with fantastic shots of my family. I will go back to Amsterdam with my daughter, I will go to Italy with my family and I will love each and every minute of it. I will make more time for my friends on the west coast. I miss them dearly. I will embrace each and everyday and find beauty in all of it. I know that we are only here for a short time when you look at the big picture our time on earth is just a sliver and I am going to make the most of it. I will tell everyone how I feel about them I will find the positive in any situation and be thankful for it. I am learning to love me for me. I have some fabulous friends who have taught me that it isn't what is on the outside that matters it is what is on the inside, they have shown me that through their examples and I am grateful for each and everyone of them. When I was training for the Nike Women's Marathon I really had some doubts about myself and my ability to do it but my friends lifted me up with their words and I will never forget when I crossed the finish line and I saw Dre and talked to Juls on the phone, I was in tears and I knew that no matter how much time had passed since I had seen or talked to them that time didn't change anything between us our friendship was just as strong as the day we met. My friend Katie is a huge inspiration to me. I could write a book about all that she has taught me. She is truly amazing, the most positive person I have ever met in my life. I don't know how she does it really. When I wanted to give up and call it quits she was there, when I didn't want to run/walk anymore she was there to encourage me. Katie has a heart of gold and I will always treasure our friendship. I could seriously comment on each and everyone of my friends and how they have all touched my life in a positive way and believe my I have most of it written down in a journal just how much I love each and everyone and how thankful I am. I guess what I am saying is that life is oh so good.... :)

Pretty

Have you ever had a day when your hair turns out just right and your make-up is perfect and you just feel pretty? Yep that happened to me today. I am just loving all the changes I am making.

Books

Can one have too many books and if so how many is too many? We are having a debate in our house and I am curious to see what others think about this.

Update for Maggie

This post is for a friend of mine, she pointed out to me that I haven't updated the blog in a while so here you go Maggie. For the past few weeks I have been doing some "spring cleaning" so to speak. I have been hitting the delete button a lot. I just don't have time for drama in my life, I mean come on now I am in my mid 30's. I have ended a friendship that was 18 years old, it sucks yes but really I can't handle all the crap that went along with that friendship and I learned that it really was a onesided friendship for the past year. I wish that friend only happiness in the future but if they keep on the track they are on then it will be a sad and lonely life.

I also have cut my hair off, seriously it is short. I LOVE it though I look totally different I still need to take a picture of the new do. I have also been working out since the start of the year and have lost 23 pounds so far. I still have a long way to go but at least I am making progress. I will one day be skinny again, like before I had two children and cancer. I don't know if I will ever get down to the weight I was before I had chemo, radiation and two children but at least I will be in shape and healthy and that is all that really matters to me. My trainer told me that I may not look good at 120 but I may look healthier at 130 or 135 because of my height. So we shall see.

I have a new calling at church, not too sure about it but I will give it 110%. I am a Primary Teacher for the 5 year olds. I am not doing it alone thank goodness because there is noway I could. My friend Katie was also called to be a Primary Teacher. She taught the class last week and made it look oh so easy. She is so great with the kids!! I am not use to being the one in front of the class but the one who sits in the back and doesn't ask questions.

So Maggie that is what I have been up to for the past few weeks, nothing exciting just life and making changes.

My little girl is growing up

Well it is official, Sierra is now legal to drive. After 4 hours at the DMV she received her permit. I can not believe that number one I am old enough to have a child that is able to drive and number two said child is old enough to drive.

I remember when she was just a little girl and learning how to ride her bike, I thought to myself one day she will be asking for the keys to the car and that day has actually arrived. My sweet little Sierra has grown up before my eyes it was just a blink I swear. Today was a happy yet sad day all in one. I miss the days when she would sit on the couch and cuddle up next to me and we would read a book or color together, but yet on the other hand I love the fact that she and I are so close. We talk about anything and everything. We have the kind of relationship that I dreamed of having when she was little. I am so lucky that I have such a good kid. I love you Sierra and am so very proud of the young woman you have become. You will always be my little girl.

Just Ranting

I am sure this post will offend some people so consider yourselves warned. Why is it that when a natural disaster happens we all unite to help out those who are in need but we do nothing to help those who are in need here in our own country. In one day the Red Cross raised over 5 million dollars for those in Haiti and that is great but why is it that we can't do that for the homeless here, or for the veterans or some other cause? I just don't understand how we as a nation can give so generously to another country and yet turn our backs on our own. I don't understand how we are so far in debt as a country can give 100 million to another country. It makes me ill to think that we have so many in need here yet we turn our backs on them. I am sure some of you must think I am a cold hearted person because I would rather keep that money here and take care of our own before sending it to another country because I believe our own people need to be taken care first. I am sorry for those who are suffering in Haiti but what about those who are suffering here? I wish the media would focus on America, to show the homeless, the elderly who can't afford their medications, the children whose basic needs are not met because their parents have lost their job or that they don't get to see their parents because they have to work two or three jobs just to make ends meet. The entire situation makes me sick!!